"just imagination"
TESDA Scholarship - FREE Tuition Fee
TESDA Scholarship - FREE Tuition Fee
Short Term Courses
*Housekeeping
*Bartending
*Front Office Service
Requirements
-18-28 yrs old.
-Birth Certificate
-Certificate of Low Income from Barangay Captain
-Hignschool Report Card
-2 pcs 2x2 photo
-2 pcs 1x1 photo
-P400 for registration
(just go to Interface Computer College, near Peoples' Park)
-LAST FILLING is on Oct 15, 2012
Short Term Courses
*Housekeeping
*Bartending
*Front Office Service
Requirements
-18-28 yrs old.
-Birth Certificate
-Certificate of Low Income from Barangay Captain
-Hignschool Report Card
-2 pcs 2x2 photo
-2 pcs 1x1 photo
-P400 for registration
(just go to Interface Computer College, near Peoples' Park)
-LAST FILLING is on Oct 15, 2012
OPEN FOR SUGGESTIOS - Bill seeks to allow Pinoys to comment on suggested laws
After much online resistance on the Anti-cybercrime law, a bill seeking to allow the public to comment on filed bills has been suggested in Senate.
Under the proposed Senate Bill No. 3300, people would be allowed to comment through the internet before the House of Representatives and Senate discuss or approve the bill.
“From Batanes to Sulu, people must be allowed to participate in the process of law-making. When peopleare allowed to participate, we have better laws,” Senator Teofisto Guingona III who filed the bill said.
“When people are allowed to participate, we have better laws. When people are allowed to participate, we have better people,” he noted.
Guingona hopes his proposal would make lawmakers more accessible to public especially during periods ofdebates.
He also believes his bill, Crowdsourcing Act of 2012, would ensure lawmakers are guided by people’s views before they make their final vote on the controversial measures.
Guingona has been at the forefront of protests against Cybercrime Prevent Act’s controversial provisions particularly on the criminal liability of libelbefore the Supreme Court.
Netizens argue the new law’s provision on giving authority to Department of Justice (DOJ) to take downcontents or entire websites that are considered as cybercrime violates the freedom of expression.
ANG TANONG PABOR KA BA O HINDI?
Under the proposed Senate Bill No. 3300, people would be allowed to comment through the internet before the House of Representatives and Senate discuss or approve the bill.
“From Batanes to Sulu, people must be allowed to participate in the process of law-making. When peopleare allowed to participate, we have better laws,” Senator Teofisto Guingona III who filed the bill said.
“When people are allowed to participate, we have better laws. When people are allowed to participate, we have better people,” he noted.
Guingona hopes his proposal would make lawmakers more accessible to public especially during periods ofdebates.
He also believes his bill, Crowdsourcing Act of 2012, would ensure lawmakers are guided by people’s views before they make their final vote on the controversial measures.
Guingona has been at the forefront of protests against Cybercrime Prevent Act’s controversial provisions particularly on the criminal liability of libelbefore the Supreme Court.
Netizens argue the new law’s provision on giving authority to Department of Justice (DOJ) to take downcontents or entire websites that are considered as cybercrime violates the freedom of expression.
ANG TANONG PABOR KA BA O HINDI?
OPEN FOR SUGGESTIOS - Bill seeks to allow Pinoys to comment on suggested laws
After much online resistance on the Anti-cybercrime law, a bill seeking to allow the public to comment on filed bills has been suggested in Senate.
Under the proposed Senate Bill No. 3300, people would be allowed to comment through the internet before the House of Representatives and Senate discuss or approve the bill.
“From Batanes to Sulu, people must be allowed to participate in the process of law-making. When peopleare allowed to participate, we have better laws,” Senator Teofisto Guingona III who filed the bill said.
“When people are allowed to participate, we have better laws. When people are allowed to participate, we have better people,” he noted.
Guingona hopes his proposal would make lawmakers more accessible to public especially during periods ofdebates.
He also believes his bill, Crowdsourcing Act of 2012, would ensure lawmakers are guided by people’s views before they make their final vote on the controversial measures.
Guingona has been at the forefront of protests against Cybercrime Prevent Act’s controversial provisions particularly on the criminal liability of libelbefore the Supreme Court.
Netizens argue the new law’s provision on giving authority to Department of Justice (DOJ) to take downcontents or entire websites that are considered as cybercrime violates the freedom of expression.
ANG TANONG PABOR KA BA O HINDI?
Under the proposed Senate Bill No. 3300, people would be allowed to comment through the internet before the House of Representatives and Senate discuss or approve the bill.
“From Batanes to Sulu, people must be allowed to participate in the process of law-making. When peopleare allowed to participate, we have better laws,” Senator Teofisto Guingona III who filed the bill said.
“When people are allowed to participate, we have better laws. When people are allowed to participate, we have better people,” he noted.
Guingona hopes his proposal would make lawmakers more accessible to public especially during periods ofdebates.
He also believes his bill, Crowdsourcing Act of 2012, would ensure lawmakers are guided by people’s views before they make their final vote on the controversial measures.
Guingona has been at the forefront of protests against Cybercrime Prevent Act’s controversial provisions particularly on the criminal liability of libelbefore the Supreme Court.
Netizens argue the new law’s provision on giving authority to Department of Justice (DOJ) to take downcontents or entire websites that are considered as cybercrime violates the freedom of expression.
ANG TANONG PABOR KA BA O HINDI?
OPEN FOR SUGGESTIOS - Bill seeks to allow Pinoys to comment on suggested laws
After much online resistance on the Anti-cybercrime law, a bill seeking to allow the public to comment on filed bills has been suggested in Senate.
Under the proposed Senate Bill No. 3300, people would be allowed to comment through the internet before the House of Representatives and Senate discuss or approve the bill.
“From Batanes to Sulu, people must be allowed to participate in the process of law-making. When peopleare allowed to participate, we have better laws,” Senator Teofisto Guingona III who filed the bill said.
“When people are allowed to participate, we have better laws. When people are allowed to participate, we have better people,” he noted.
Guingona hopes his proposal would make lawmakers more accessible to public especially during periods ofdebates.
He also believes his bill, Crowdsourcing Act of 2012, would ensure lawmakers are guided by people’s views before they make their final vote on the controversial measures.
Guingona has been at the forefront of protests against Cybercrime Prevent Act’s controversial provisions particularly on the criminal liability of libelbefore the Supreme Court.
Netizens argue the new law’s provision on giving authority to Department of Justice (DOJ) to take downcontents or entire websites that are considered as cybercrime violates the freedom of expression.
ANG TANONG PABOR KA BA O HINDI?
Under the proposed Senate Bill No. 3300, people would be allowed to comment through the internet before the House of Representatives and Senate discuss or approve the bill.
“From Batanes to Sulu, people must be allowed to participate in the process of law-making. When peopleare allowed to participate, we have better laws,” Senator Teofisto Guingona III who filed the bill said.
“When people are allowed to participate, we have better laws. When people are allowed to participate, we have better people,” he noted.
Guingona hopes his proposal would make lawmakers more accessible to public especially during periods ofdebates.
He also believes his bill, Crowdsourcing Act of 2012, would ensure lawmakers are guided by people’s views before they make their final vote on the controversial measures.
Guingona has been at the forefront of protests against Cybercrime Prevent Act’s controversial provisions particularly on the criminal liability of libelbefore the Supreme Court.
Netizens argue the new law’s provision on giving authority to Department of Justice (DOJ) to take downcontents or entire websites that are considered as cybercrime violates the freedom of expression.
ANG TANONG PABOR KA BA O HINDI?
RH Bill
RH Bill
The Reproductive Health Bill, informally known as the RH Bill, are proposed laws in the Republic of the Philippines aiming to guarantee universal access to methods on contraception, abortion, fertility control, sexual education, and maternal care[1].
There are presently two bills with the same intended goals:
- House Bill # 4244 ─ An Act Providing for a Comprehensive Policy on Responsible Parenthood, Reproductive Health, and Population and Development, and For Other Purposes
- Senate Bill # 2378 ─ An Act Providing For a National Policy on Reproductive Health and Population and Development
While there is general agreement about its provisions on maternal and child health, there is great debate on its key proposal that the Philippine government and the private sector will fund and undertake widespread distribution of family planning devices such as condoms, birth control pills (BCPs) and IUDs, as the government continues to disseminate information on their use through all health care centers.
The bill is highly divisive, with experts, academics, religious institutions, and major political figures supporting and opposing it, often criticizing the government and each other in the process. Debates and rallies proposing and opposing the bills, with tens of thousands of opposition particularly those endorsed by the bishops of the Roman Catholic Church and various other conservative groups, have been happening nationwide.
(paki-Hit sa vote kung saan ka at malaki ang maitutulong mo sa pagresolba nito. Salamat)
Nagbago Na
Nagbalikbayan ang mister ni Mona:
MONA: Honey, ang mga sigarilyo ba'y para sa kamag-anak natin?
RAMON: OO. Hindi na ako naninigarilyo, nagbago na ako.
MONA: Itong mga alak, sa kamag-anak rin natin?
RAMON: Oo, hindi na ako umiinom, nagbago na ako.
MONA: Siguro itong make-up kits para sa akin.
RAMON: Hoy bruha, para sa akin 'yan. Di ba sabi ko, nagbago na akwo.
MONA: Honey, ang mga sigarilyo ba'y para sa kamag-anak natin?
RAMON: OO. Hindi na ako naninigarilyo, nagbago na ako.
MONA: Itong mga alak, sa kamag-anak rin natin?
RAMON: Oo, hindi na ako umiinom, nagbago na ako.
MONA: Siguro itong make-up kits para sa akin.
RAMON: Hoy bruha, para sa akin 'yan. Di ba sabi ko, nagbago na akwo.
Nanalo
Lalake1: Pare, mukhang malalim ang iniisip mo!
Lalake2: Nanaginip ako kagabi. Kasama ko raw ang 50 contestants ng Ms. Universe.
Lalake1: Swerte mo! Anong problema mo?
Lalake2: Pare...ako ang nanalo!
Lalake2: Nanaginip ako kagabi. Kasama ko raw ang 50 contestants ng Ms. Universe.
Lalake1: Swerte mo! Anong problema mo?
Lalake2: Pare...ako ang nanalo!
Gaganda Ako
genie: i'l grant u a wish.
bading: talaga? gusto kong gumanda.
genie: cge, buksan mo ang bote.
bading: at gaganda ako?
genie: hindi, babalik nalng ako. ...
bading: talaga? gusto kong gumanda.
genie: cge, buksan mo ang bote.
bading: at gaganda ako?
genie: hindi, babalik nalng ako. ...
Mahirap na Lalaki
“the hardest type of boy to love..
is the one who never learns to control
his sweetness..
to another boy..”
is the one who never learns to control
his sweetness..
to another boy..”
Prayer of Maganda
In the name of d powder
& of d blush on,
of d holy lipstick,
And d spirit of d perfume..
SAMEN!
& of d blush on,
of d holy lipstick,
And d spirit of d perfume..
SAMEN!
Bading
Anak : Tay, pinagalitan aq kanina ng titser q.
Tatay : Bakit anak?
Anak : Kc hinalikan q yung kaklasi ko.
Tatay : hehehe... Nagmana ka talaga sa akin anak.
Anak : Oo nga tay, ang guapo nya kasi.
Tatay : Bakit anak?
Anak : Kc hinalikan q yung kaklasi ko.
Tatay : hehehe... Nagmana ka talaga sa akin anak.
Anak : Oo nga tay, ang guapo nya kasi.
Bayot Diay
WIFE: bwisit! Bakla ka pala! Jan kana nga!
HUSBAND: love, san ka pupunta?
WIFE: Maghahanap ng lalaki!
HUSBAND: Dalawahin muh ah! TIG-ISA TAU!
HUSBAND: love, san ka pupunta?
WIFE: Maghahanap ng lalaki!
HUSBAND: Dalawahin muh ah! TIG-ISA TAU!
My Boobs na
Mag-syota na di nagkita ng one month.....
Then one day nagkita sila at ang unang tanong ng girl sa boy...
Girl: "mahal mo pa ba ako?"
Di nakasagot ang boy pero ang ginawa niya.......
kinuha ng boy ang kamay ng girl sabay itinapat sa kanyang dibdib....
at dun napaiyak ang girl.... kasi....
May BOOBS na pala ang gaga! Hahaha
Then one day nagkita sila at ang unang tanong ng girl sa boy...
Girl: "mahal mo pa ba ako?"
Di nakasagot ang boy pero ang ginawa niya.......
kinuha ng boy ang kamay ng girl sabay itinapat sa kanyang dibdib....
at dun napaiyak ang girl.... kasi....
May BOOBS na pala ang gaga! Hahaha
Sa Motel
BF: "Alam mo love, ikaw ang first girl na dinala ko dito."
GF: "Sinungaling. Sabi nila lagi ka dito!"
BF: "Oo, pero ikaw lang talaga ang girl!"
GF: "Sinungaling. Sabi nila lagi ka dito!"
BF: "Oo, pero ikaw lang talaga ang girl!"
Ten Miller
ANAK:Tay,mag-ingat kayo sa DANKTRAK!
TATAY:Ano ung danktrak?
ANAK:Yung pong trak na 10 ang gulong na karga buhangin?
TATAY:Tanga inde danktrak un…TEN MILLER!
TATAY:Ano ung danktrak?
ANAK:Yung pong trak na 10 ang gulong na karga buhangin?
TATAY:Tanga inde danktrak un…TEN MILLER!
Go to Sun at Night
Yeltsin: We are the first person in space.
Clinton: We are the first on the moon.
Erap: We will be the first to land on the sun.
USA: You can’t land on the sun, its too hot.
Erap: You know, were not stupid, we gonna go there at night.
Clinton: We are the first on the moon.
Erap: We will be the first to land on the sun.
USA: You can’t land on the sun, its too hot.
Erap: You know, were not stupid, we gonna go there at night.
Fire
Erap, Cory and Ramos papatayin nauna, Ramos.
Army: Ready aim…
Ramos: Lumilindol lumilindol!!! ( Nagtakbuhan ang lahat at nakatakas si Ramos.)
Cory’s turn
Army: Ready aim….
Cory: May kalaban may kalaban!!! (Nagsitago ang lahat.)
Erap: Ah! Ganyan pala ha!
Army: Ready aim…
Erap: Fire!!!
Dedo si Erap.
Army: Ready aim…
Ramos: Lumilindol lumilindol!!! ( Nagtakbuhan ang lahat at nakatakas si Ramos.)
Cory’s turn
Army: Ready aim….
Cory: May kalaban may kalaban!!! (Nagsitago ang lahat.)
Erap: Ah! Ganyan pala ha!
Army: Ready aim…
Erap: Fire!!!
Dedo si Erap.
Tissue Paper
ERap: Lintik na ibon yon... Iniputan ako!
Guard: Sir, sandali lang po kukuha ako ng toilet paper.
Erap: Wag na! Paano mo pa mapupunasan yung pwet non eh nakalipad na! Tanga ka talaga!
Guard: Sir, sandali lang po kukuha ako ng toilet paper.
Erap: Wag na! Paano mo pa mapupunasan yung pwet non eh nakalipad na! Tanga ka talaga!
Puzzle
Erap: Pre, ang bilis ko natapos buuin yung puzzle!
Juan: Talaga pare? Gaano kabilis?
Erap: 5 months!
Juan: Ang tagal naman!
Erap Tanga! Anong matagal?! Nakalagay nga dito “For 3 years and up!”
Juan: Talaga pare? Gaano kabilis?
Erap: 5 months!
Juan: Ang tagal naman!
Erap Tanga! Anong matagal?! Nakalagay nga dito “For 3 years and up!”
Fire Exit
Erap talking to a sales girl.
Erap: Need gloves as gift sa asawa ko but don’t know her size.
Sales girl: Touch my hand so you will know her size.
Erap: She also needs panty and bra.Erap Jokes - 3Friday, June 20, 2008 4:43 PMScenario: Nasusunog ang Malacañang.
Lacson: Erap, nasusunog na ang Malacañang kailangan na nating umalis ditto, tara dun tayo sa fire exit.
Erap: Tanga ka ba dun nga lumalabas ang apoy eh!
Erap: Need gloves as gift sa asawa ko but don’t know her size.
Sales girl: Touch my hand so you will know her size.
Erap: She also needs panty and bra.Erap Jokes - 3Friday, June 20, 2008 4:43 PMScenario: Nasusunog ang Malacañang.
Lacson: Erap, nasusunog na ang Malacañang kailangan na nating umalis ditto, tara dun tayo sa fire exit.
Erap: Tanga ka ba dun nga lumalabas ang apoy eh!
Wish
Genie: Wish ka!
Erap: Lagyan mo ng flyoevers ang buong Pilipinas! Etong Mapa!
Genie: Hirap naman! Iba na lang!
Erap: Gawin mo akong matalino!
Genie: Asan na nga yung mapa?
Erap: Lagyan mo ng flyoevers ang buong Pilipinas! Etong Mapa!
Genie: Hirap naman! Iba na lang!
Erap: Gawin mo akong matalino!
Genie: Asan na nga yung mapa?
Patulak
LASING: ( nagtxt )
"pare! help patulak nman, ayaw umandar eh."
PARE: (naawa, nagbihis, at nagreply)
"palabas nko ng bahay, san ka?"
LASING: "Dito pare sa swing."
"pare! help patulak nman, ayaw umandar eh."
PARE: (naawa, nagbihis, at nagreply)
"palabas nko ng bahay, san ka?"
LASING: "Dito pare sa swing."
Mabagal na Jeep
Dalawang mag kaibigan sumakay ng dyipney
Pasahero 1: (Pabulong) Ang bagal naman mag patakbo ng nasakyan natin. . .
Pasahero 2: OO nga tol nag bka mahuli pa tayo sa trabaho nito
Drayber (Narinig pala usapan) Ano ka nyo, mbagal ba ang dyipney ko? segi nga bumaba kayo at subukan nyong sabayan ako, tingnan ntin kungmauunahan nyo ako. . .
Pasahero : nyahaaaaa.
Pasahero 1: (Pabulong) Ang bagal naman mag patakbo ng nasakyan natin. . .
Pasahero 2: OO nga tol nag bka mahuli pa tayo sa trabaho nito
Drayber (Narinig pala usapan) Ano ka nyo, mbagal ba ang dyipney ko? segi nga bumaba kayo at subukan nyong sabayan ako, tingnan ntin kungmauunahan nyo ako. . .
Pasahero : nyahaaaaa.
Studyante Vs Driver
Part 1
Estudyante: mama bayad hoh!
Drayber: saan galling?
Estudyante: sa akin!
Drayber: (gago to ah) saan papunta?
Estudyante: e di sau! Tanga!
Part 2
Estudyante: mama sukli ko hoh!
(drayber gusting maghiganti…pinigyan nya ng kulang na sukli…)
Estudyante: o manong, bakit kulang to? Magkano ba Quiapo?
Drayber: bakit? Bibilhin moh?
Hahahhaha
Estudyante: mama bayad hoh!
Drayber: saan galling?
Estudyante: sa akin!
Drayber: (gago to ah) saan papunta?
Estudyante: e di sau! Tanga!
Part 2
Estudyante: mama sukli ko hoh!
(drayber gusting maghiganti…pinigyan nya ng kulang na sukli…)
Estudyante: o manong, bakit kulang to? Magkano ba Quiapo?
Drayber: bakit? Bibilhin moh?
Hahahhaha
Naked Girl
Girl ride on taxi NAKED
Girl: Taxi, taxi
Driver: Asan tayo mam?
Girl: wag ka mag tawag mam naka hubad ako.
Driver: Sorry!
Girl: Bakit ka naka tingin sa katawan ko?
Driver: Asan mo nilagay ang pambayad mo?
Girl: Taxi, taxi
Driver: Asan tayo mam?
Girl: wag ka mag tawag mam naka hubad ako.
Driver: Sorry!
Girl: Bakit ka naka tingin sa katawan ko?
Driver: Asan mo nilagay ang pambayad mo?
No Parking
Pulis: Bakit ka pumarada dyan? Hindi mo ba nakita ang “no parking” sign dyan?
Driver: Nakita ko po,kayo po ang hindi ko nakita!
Driver: Nakita ko po,kayo po ang hindi ko nakita!
Ibalik ang Sakit
Pasyente : Okey ba ang services sa ospital na ito ?
Doctor : Oo naman, sigurado yan .
Pasyente : Paano kung hindi ako satisfied ?
Doctor : Ibabalik namin yong' sakit mo!
Doctor : Oo naman, sigurado yan .
Pasyente : Paano kung hindi ako satisfied ?
Doctor : Ibabalik namin yong' sakit mo!
Bungi
Teacher: Give me colors that begin w/ letter M
Pupil: Maroon!
Teacher: Anybody else?
Bungi: Mlue,Mlawn,Mlak,Mink,Maiolet.
Teacher: MELLYGOOD malakmakan!
Pupil: Maroon!
Teacher: Anybody else?
Bungi: Mlue,Mlawn,Mlak,Mink,Maiolet.
Teacher: MELLYGOOD malakmakan!
Mga Namatay
Ang una namatay c “DA KING”..
Sunod namatay c “DA BOY”
Sunod na din c “DA MASTERRAPPER
Wala kaha ma kulbaan si..
“DAGUL”?
Sunod namatay c “DA BOY”
Sunod na din c “DA MASTERRAPPER
Wala kaha ma kulbaan si..
“DAGUL”?
Babaeng Ginagahasa
Sigaw ng nire-rape na ba2e: 2long! 2long!
Rapist: Wag ka ng humingi ng 2long,kaya ko 2ng mg-isa!
Babae: Sure ka? Ah ok,.wag na! wag na! Kaya na dw nya!
Hahaha
Rapist: Wag ka ng humingi ng 2long,kaya ko 2ng mg-isa!
Babae: Sure ka? Ah ok,.wag na! wag na! Kaya na dw nya!
Hahaha
Hirap sa lahat ng School
Sa UP, mahirap ang Math.
Sa Ateneo, mahirap ang English.
Sa La Salle, mahirap ang parking.
Sa Santa Isabel College, mahirap ang walang pera.
Sa UST, mahirap umuwi kapag baha.
Sa Adamson University, mahirap umuwi kahit anong oras.
Sa St. Scho, mahirap sumakay sa LRT
Sa San Beda, mahirap maging lalaki.
Sa Ateneo, mahirap ang English.
Sa La Salle, mahirap ang parking.
Sa Santa Isabel College, mahirap ang walang pera.
Sa UST, mahirap umuwi kapag baha.
Sa Adamson University, mahirap umuwi kahit anong oras.
Sa St. Scho, mahirap sumakay sa LRT
Sa San Beda, mahirap maging lalaki.
Saang College
If you have a lot of brains and a little money, go to UP.
If you have some brains and some money, go to Ateneo.
If you have no brains and lots of money, go to La Salle
If you have no money, go to PUP.
If you have some brains and some money, go to Ateneo.
If you have no brains and lots of money, go to La Salle
If you have no money, go to PUP.
IT for Love
A lover?
Nursing: Can cure a heartbroken and care for you?
Masscom: Who can speak out the love?
Law: Who can justify the love?
PMA: who can manage to give the best taste of love?
Teacher: Who can teach love in their own simplest way?
Itong malupit!
IT: Who can easily open, shutdown and restart the love? Hehehe
Nursing: Can cure a heartbroken and care for you?
Masscom: Who can speak out the love?
Law: Who can justify the love?
PMA: who can manage to give the best taste of love?
Teacher: Who can teach love in their own simplest way?
Itong malupit!
IT: Who can easily open, shutdown and restart the love? Hehehe
Nagbago Na
Nagbalikbayan ang mister ni Mona:
MONA: Honey, ang mga sigarilyo ba'y para sa kamag-anak natin?
RAMON: OO. Hindi na ako naninigarilyo, nagbago na ako.
MONA: Itong mga alak, sa kamag-anak rin natin?
RAMON: Oo, hindi na ako umiinom, nagbago na ako.
MONA: Siguro itong make-up kits para sa akin.
RAMON: Hoy bruha, para sa akin 'yan. Di ba sabi ko, nagbago na akwo.
MONA: Honey, ang mga sigarilyo ba'y para sa kamag-anak natin?
RAMON: OO. Hindi na ako naninigarilyo, nagbago na ako.
MONA: Itong mga alak, sa kamag-anak rin natin?
RAMON: Oo, hindi na ako umiinom, nagbago na ako.
MONA: Siguro itong make-up kits para sa akin.
RAMON: Hoy bruha, para sa akin 'yan. Di ba sabi ko, nagbago na akwo.
Walang Nagpalaki
Bitoy: Dagul, bakit ang pandak mo?
Dagul: Maaga kasi ako naulila.
Bitoy: Anu koneksyon nun sa pagiging pandak mo?
Dagul: Cra b ulo mo! wala nga nagpalaki sakin eh.
Dagul: Maaga kasi ako naulila.
Bitoy: Anu koneksyon nun sa pagiging pandak mo?
Dagul: Cra b ulo mo! wala nga nagpalaki sakin eh.
StarBucks
BOB: nakakamagkano ka sa 1 araw?
PULUBI: nag-uumpisa kasi ako ng 8am. Ngayon 9am na. naka 80 na ko.
BOB: hindi din masama noh? Ano mabibili mo niyan?
PULUBI: pwede na tong isang espresso macchiato sa starbucks!
PULUBI: nag-uumpisa kasi ako ng 8am. Ngayon 9am na. naka 80 na ko.
BOB: hindi din masama noh? Ano mabibili mo niyan?
PULUBI: pwede na tong isang espresso macchiato sa starbucks!
DioManJie
Aling Dionisia: anak pag nanganak ulit c jinkey ee isama mo ung pangalan nating tatlo
Manny Pacquiao: huh?? may naisip kana ba inay??
Aling Dionisia: uu naman
Manny Pacquiao: ano?
Aling Dionisia: edi DioManJi
Manny Pacquiao: huh?? may naisip kana ba inay??
Aling Dionisia: uu naman
Manny Pacquiao: ano?
Aling Dionisia: edi DioManJi
Dota
Girl: 10 oras na ko nagaantay dito. Sige mamili ka, ako o ang DOTA na yan?
Boy: DOTA!
Girl: At bakit?
Boy: Ang DOTA kasi pwedeng paglaruan. Eh ikaw masyado kang mahal para paglaruan...
Boy: DOTA!
Girl: At bakit?
Boy: Ang DOTA kasi pwedeng paglaruan. Eh ikaw masyado kang mahal para paglaruan...
Cute at Pangit
Ssshh!… ayon sa SURVEY,
sa gani2ng oras dw
ang mga CUTE ay nagte-txt na at ang mga pangit ay
nagbabasa pa.
Hehehehe…
sa gani2ng oras dw
ang mga CUTE ay nagte-txt na at ang mga pangit ay
nagbabasa pa.
Hehehehe…
Nakatitig Sayo
Lalaki at babae aksidenteng nagbanggaan….
Girl: hoy! Tingnan mo nga dinadaanan moh!
Boy: paano ko titingnan ang daanan ko, kung ang aking mga mata’y nakatitig sayo?
Girl: hoy! Tingnan mo nga dinadaanan moh!
Boy: paano ko titingnan ang daanan ko, kung ang aking mga mata’y nakatitig sayo?
Babalik sa ex Ko
Girl: Maghiwalay na lang tayo!
Boy: okay lang…babalikan ko na lang ang ex ko…
Girl: aba! Ang kapal mo talaga! We’re officially break!
(kinabukasan)
Boy: I still love you!
Girl: di ba break na tayo? Babalikan mo pa nga ex mo di ba?
Boy: eto na nga! Binabalikan na ulit kita…hehehe
Boy: okay lang…babalikan ko na lang ang ex ko…
Girl: aba! Ang kapal mo talaga! We’re officially break!
(kinabukasan)
Boy: I still love you!
Girl: di ba break na tayo? Babalikan mo pa nga ex mo di ba?
Boy: eto na nga! Binabalikan na ulit kita…hehehe
Matalino
Boy: "Matalino ka diba? Ba’t di mo ako kayang sagutin?"
Girl: "Kasi nga matalino ako at alam ko'ng di ikaw ang sagot!
hahahaha
Girl: "Kasi nga matalino ako at alam ko'ng di ikaw ang sagot!
hahahaha
Susunod Na
Tuwing may kinakasal, tinutukso ako ni lola,
"Uuy, sya na susunod!!!"
Tumigil lang sya, nung may dumaang ililibing. Tinukso ko din sya,
“Uuy, sya na susunod..!!"
"Uuy, sya na susunod!!!"
Tumigil lang sya, nung may dumaang ililibing. Tinukso ko din sya,
“Uuy, sya na susunod..!!"
'Pag Niloko
Pag niloko at sinaktan ka ng mahal mo
Eto ang sbhin mO "Never say die..tomorrow is another guy"
hahaha,
Eto ang sbhin mO "Never say die..tomorrow is another guy"
hahaha,
Hawakan Mo
GF: "Hawakan mo naman ako nag mahigpit oh..."
BF: "ha?" (Nagtataka at hinawakan ang kamay) "bakit?"
GF: "kasi nahuhulog na ako sa iba.."
BF: "ha?" (Nagtataka at hinawakan ang kamay) "bakit?"
GF: "kasi nahuhulog na ako sa iba.."
Busy Pa
GIRL: Bakit di kapa natutulog?
BOY: Busy pa ako.
GIRL: So, nakakaistorbo ako?
BOY: Hindi ka nakakaistorbo sakin. Busy pa kasi ako sa pakikipag-usap sa babaeng mamahalin ko habang buhay.
BOY: Busy pa ako.
GIRL: So, nakakaistorbo ako?
BOY: Hindi ka nakakaistorbo sakin. Busy pa kasi ako sa pakikipag-usap sa babaeng mamahalin ko habang buhay.
Siya o Ikaw
mabait cya pro sweet ka
naala2 ko cya pro hnahanap kta
cya mundo ko pro ikw buhay ko
gulo no? pro mani2wla k ba
kng savhin ko na..
cya ang gus2 ko.
pro ikw ang mhal ko?
naala2 ko cya pro hnahanap kta
cya mundo ko pro ikw buhay ko
gulo no? pro mani2wla k ba
kng savhin ko na..
cya ang gus2 ko.
pro ikw ang mhal ko?
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